This week’s question: What videogame franchise would you like to break up with?

Kyle Orland

Kyle Orland: Sonic the Hedgehog

The good old days: I’ll never forget the first time I saw you, at a Toys “R” Us demo kiosk, your color depth and carnal sense of speed putting the NES I had at home to shame. Of course, I’d had a steady, four-year relationship with the Mario series at that point, but I think we were both looking for a little more variety in our lives. Mario would always be my first love, but his slow-paced 2-D adventures never turned me head-over-heels like your acrobatic loop-de-loops.

The beginning of the end: I guess you thought you were “getting more mature” when you made the jump to 3-D in Sonic Adventure. All I saw, though, was a series that had given up rock-solid 2-D platforming for confusing camera angles, slow-paced role-playing sections and an odd character named “Big the Cat.” I guess we just had different ideas about what “maturity” meant…

I knew it was over when: You turned into a werewolf in Sonic Unleashed. At that point you were, quite literally, not the Hedgehog I fell in love with all those years ago.

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